If he really does know if I've been bad or good, I'd like a word with Santa.
I've been keeping myself busy today; gym, pre-Christmas cooking, present wrapping, planning a trip back to the States. I took a moment after dinner to sit alone and smoke a cigarette (filthy habit I picked up again this breakdown) and I felt a bit flat.
I tried really hard to work out if it was feeling down or just having a tired moment. It's hard to know whether I should panic over every little dip in mood or ride things out to see what the overall trend is. I'm worried I'll keep excusing bad moments and assume that things will get better until my life is full of just bad moments and I'm suddenly paralysed by despair. On the other hand, I can't spend my time overanalysing each and every fluctuation or I will drive myself insane.
For the most part, it was a day of good moments, particularly good was Skyping with my best friend in the US and eating some nice Gouda, so I'm calling it a good day.
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