My mood was great today. I woke up feeling spritely, had enough time to drink a cup of coffee AND put mascara on, I was heading out the door when my uncle asked if I wanted a lift to work so rather than being smashed into the armpit of a sweaty man on a crowded tram I was driven to work while listening to the radio so I caught up on the news of the world on the way. Arriving half an hour early I got a jumpstart on the day, went across to ACCA and got a truly exceptional coffee, started my work properly for the day and then it just flew by as I immersed myself in learning about reporting (remember previous post about how I heart excel spreadsheets? These things excite me). I left work early and came home to cook spaghetti bolognese which turned out exceptionally well if I do say so myself, then I had a fantastic long chat with my cousin. Watched a bit of Elementary on the telly then came upstairs and picked up my iPad.
Whoosh!
That was the sound of my good mood vanishing.
What is it with the fucking Internet? There's a troll on my favourite feminist board on Pinterest and usually I can step back and say to myself "Katie, this person is an idiot, stop reading the comments" but tonight I just kept reading them and then it was like I was seeking them out just to get more and more red in the face and upset. I wanted to have a reaction that meant something, that did something but there was nothing I could do. I'd start writing responses to his boorish remarks but then I'd realise they weren't enough and they showed I cared what he thought, which is not the case, but I care about the spaces in which I get to share ideas and have a dialogue about the things I do care about.
Then I went onto Facebook, which I generally avoid since I know it makes me dislike people I actually know and there were all kinds of asinine commentaries on yesterday's leadership spill mixed in amongst the other usual self important and inane crap. I felt frustrated.
Even though my head is loopy and my good mood probably has everything to do with the fact that I actually can't remember anything at the moment, I do still have a fairly formidable mind. I am a university drop out because I wasn't receiving the kind of stimulation I craved in the classroom and I am still craving it. Next weekend there is a conference at The University of Melbourne run by the Socialist Alternative called Marxism. I had been interested in attending it when I heard that Brian Jones was going to be performing Howard Zinn's 'Marx in Soho', a text I read while in the US. Further reading of the program and some correspondence with my ex-boyfriend, the socialist, informed me of a series of discussions being held about education. I'm very tempted to attend. Part of me thinks or perhaps hopes that I might find some satiating material to appease my needy mind. Then there's a part of me that concludes that all trolls or Facebook users are actually people and these people may be the ones attending this conference in which case I'll be surrounded by voices that make my blood boil and it would be better really to stay home in bed.
I don't know what the answer is. I think for a short while anyway I should give the internet a break. Definitely for at least one day, maybe the whole weekend. That's it, it's a ludite weekend. See you on the other side.
(ok, I have to tell you, my iPad changed ludite to ludicrous. Is that an Apple commentary?)
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