I'm typing this into the unsupported browser of my iPhone and hoping the Optus 3G signal will see fit to transmit this message from my hospital bed to the great wide world.
As mentioned, I'm in hospital. I'm halfway (maybe? hopefully?) through a course of electroconvulsive therapy. The good news is they've taken me off all of my medication, the bad news is my brain has turned to mush and I have no short term memory. I cannot remember what I did yesterday and strangers keep talking to me in intimate tones. I'm assured by family and nursing staff alike that this is the preferable alternative to my former state but not retaining adequate memory of what that was, I can't really comment.
Despite it's drastic flaws I have always been rather attached to my mind so finding it so greatly compromised is distressing. My deep sense of uncertainty is not being assisted by the insistence of all those around me that I shouldn't worry about it. (That's exactly what they'd want me to think, I'm sure.)
I'm wishing that I had some newfound optimism to accompany my paranoia but maybe what I'm presently feeling is all that can be expected for the halfway mark of this treatment.
I'll update again once I turn that corner or maybe just if I find some reliable Internet. (This is all of course contingent on retaining the memory that I keep a blog.)
