Tuesday 10 December 2013

Out of the blue

Life was traveling along just swimmingly then out of the blue I got hit with a nice, healthy dose of crippling anxiety. Totally out of nowhere! I was at work, drinking my morning coffee when suddenly the room started to shrink, a ball of lead appeared in my stomach and my chest started aching like I was having a heart attack.
I tried my usual trick of ignoring it but it's like ignoring a room full of crying babies with megaphones. Not easy. Eventually I gave in to it and excused myself from work, went over to my parents house, took too many Valium and went to bed.
I hate that it happened and it sucks that my coping skills are still so unrefined. If I was a blogger of any substance who you could turn to for words of wisdom and inspiration I would have no doubt written about how I employed my mindfulness techniques and visualised a soothing waterfall but I'm not that advanced, I'm honestly just getting by most of the time and when things turn to shit I still need to duck for cover (and call my Mum!)
Anyway, today was better but the whole episode has me a bit shaken because frankly, I'm tired of this all and just want to get on with my life in a really normal way. That's all I want for Christmas this year. A big box of moving on tied up in a bow.
I suppose I can only wait to see what Santa leaves under the tree.

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